I have been donating to this charity for years but finally joined the run walk and raised $300. My company matched some. I wish I could have raised more!  I thank all my family and friends who supporte me in this!  It was great to run for a cause, something every woman (and man) should do once. I encourage you all to try it.

Much love,
JDub

I will be back soon with much to share and trust me….there’s a lot to share.  I will be looking forward to getting your comments, questions, successes, and failures (which are successes in disguise).

Perhaps whilst I get my S….T together you can share something with me. It can be a recipe, and invitation to a page, a new philosophy on life, or just to bitch and moan at me for leaving you for so long.  Ok, I’ll go first… on my recent trip to Europe I visited Brugge.  There happens to be a restaurant that Marvin Gaye used to frequent.  I enjoyed a beer there and ate off of the “Marvin Gaye” menu.  I had to reflect for on Marvin’s life and music for a bit.  That was very unexpected and interesting. 

Whatever it is…..DO IT!

BissouX

Perhaps it is an unreasonable thing to believe a friend will be in your life for forever, which is why the phrase “a reason, a season or a lifetime,” was penned. I have broken up with friends that I loved dearly, even bested, and those friends dropped off the face of the earth without a word, only to pop back into my life whenever they wanted something or needed information. Then, they would pop back out again until finally they were unwelcome.

Others you have seen through thick and thin and shared theirs and your most intimate of details, crying with them when they broke up with their beaux – “what would I do without you?” They asked with red eyes and tear strained faces. You were there when they found their husbands; some friends actually had you try to date their pre-husbands or go out to some “large high school senior event” with these guys before they dated and fell in love with them. You were also there to see them have their first child, only to later be excluded from participating in their lives and left out in the end. No longer a necessity.

Why is it that people lose themselves in their lives and forget how important their friends were to them? Were you, was I, were we really not that important? That may be true, but then was it all a game to just bide time until they got what they wanted elsewhere.  Are we sometimes just fillers? Priorities change, no doubt, but it is amazing to me how quickly we as a fill-in get dropped from people’s lives. With all the people who I have met, I’m sure they were all there for some purpose – some as blatant as day and some not yet revealed. Some revelations, I can do without…I really just prefer to forget…hahaha! F’ing crazies. Yes, I’m still talking about just friends.

Then you have your ones that you broke up with briefly only to return to them because even when you hated them (one or two you may have actually tried to hit or kill), you loved them and those friends became family – a sister or brother from another mother, for real. These are the ones that got married and had children and make (present tense) sure that you are included in everything. They adore you and fly halfway around the world when your heart is broken because they know, you would do the same. They are the ones who find their beaux and worry about not finding time for you, so they email you, text you, call you and invite you to their house to catch up.  They are the ones that travel with you on adventures to discover who you are and expose you to a whole other way of being.  They are the ones that you send notes to all day, even if only in your head.  They are the ones that you always got defense for because they will “bust a cap in someones a$$” should someone mess with you.  You know who you are!

Recently, I had a BBQ at my parents home and invited my friends. When you are invited to “my house” you quickly become family because my family know that I only bring people near and dear to me to that house. For example, I have only ever brought one date home to meet my family and I got engaged to that person years later. See the seriousness.

As these people were gathered together for food and libations, I was happy to have them together. It was better than the wedding reception I never had because these people loved me and were there to spend time with me. Not to see what dress I chose or theme I had or if there was a cocktail hour. They were there to have a good time with me and with each other.

I’m sure that there are “seasons” and “reasons” somewhere in this group, but my optimistic heart hopes that I will know these people for “a lifetime.”

Instead, I put a much smaller board on my wall and left it blank and decided that when inspired and moved by something, I would put something up there.

So, on one very warm day driving home, I came to realization that me and the universe just weren’t communicating well.  In order to commune properly with the universe in a way that make me feel like we were in touch I had to correct how we were communicating.  For many years now I truly feel like I have focused on the things I wanted. Envision them…Physically react to them… I write romance so I think about romance all the time, but is romance in my life? Negative. So, I guess we’re not communicating well.

The writer came out at that moment and so I decided to write the universe a letter about what the “deally” was going on. Why? Well, because I connect to the word more than any other form of expression, be it orally or visually. I didn’t stop there though. I took out my feather pen and ink and the best paper I could find. I then wrote a letter slowly and deliberately, dipping the pen into the ink, making accurate calligraphy strokes and affirming what I needed to say in language as precise as possible. It took me some time, but, it was fantastic. I felt like Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice writing to Jane.

I then folded the letter and wax sealed it with a fleur de lis stamp (because in my head I’m royalty) and tacked it on my blank and unimpressive corrugated board. The funny thing is that I look at it often and I remember and focus on the delicately chosen words therein. I have realized that I spend more time thinking about what I wrote to the universe and feel it more than anything I ever previously put on my old board. Will this help me to commune with the universe better? More frequently? Accurately? I don’t know, but I feel as though I have done something much more aligned with expressing and connecting to my dreams and goals than the visual interpretation.

In honoring my mode of communication, I honored myself.

If you didn’t know that this was a standard, then allow me to school you because this is really pissing me off something fierce, especially, when it comes from grown a$$ men.  The ones that are suppose to show the younger generation how it is done.  Try to bear with me for a minute because I have to contain myself.   Seriously, you have to know better and do better.  It is not politically incorrect to hold the door open for a woman and be chivalrous or just hold the damn door open – those are good manners; so are please and thank you!  These are jus some simple standards.

Must say… I am spoiled.  I have chivalrous men in my life that hold the  door open for me , walk on the street side, hold my bag for me if it is too heavy, are protective and sit facing the  larger part of the restaurant and are “hunter gatherers,” but the rest of the time I have to deal with busters who make me want to stand there and say…”Seriously?  Really.  Really! Wow.”

Ladies, I have a bone to pick with you also.  Expect men to be chivalrous and also let them be it.  So many times we don’t allow men to just be men.  We have to wrestle with them in the work place so that we can advance given the bureaucracy, but all other times, please…let them be men and expect it.  Try not to have such a big chip on your shoulder and always be like, “I can hold my own freakin’ door or I can carry my own damn groceries.”  Yes, we know you can!  I know I can and I do it most of the time, but when men are around they should really step up because it does feel good and it does make the world better.

Men,  you are sooooo missing the boat on this one.  These simple acts don’t make you a punk or the other “P” word.  It is guaranteed to get you more dates and make you feel better, but that is another blog. 

Everyone, please utilize your manners.  Chew with your mouth closed, say your please and thank yous, smile and say good morning to your coworkers or people you make eye contact with on the streets (on this last one use your best judgement, you don’t want a stalker).  Chivalry makes the world a better place and manners help us to play with each other better, especially children, so teach them too. 

Don’t make me open a finishing school!  Do it!

Generally, I am a fan of the snow.  I actually pray for a white Christmas. At my age, I still enjoy playing in it and making snow angels and stuff, but mother nature has given us some snow this winter and we are ill-equiped to deal with it here in the big city.

Don’t get me wrong, NYC does alright, the people in houses without a snow blower and ol’ skool shovels….not so much with the amounts we have gotten thus far.

I am also tired of the “do I go to work or work from home” or the “do I risk my life on the roads today or be safe,” conversations I have with myself.

I’m tired of missing dance classes and most of all shoveling close to 2 feet of snow over and over and over again just to clear my damn long driveway.  I have elderly parents and their safety comes first so I shovel and shovel, then shovel some more.  After that I clean off my car (because now I can actually get to it), then once again shovel only to now have to salt everywhere so that neither I, nor anyone else, bust my a$$ on ice.  NIIIIICCCZZZ!

So, though I am happy for the change of season and the first snow, now it has “gots to go!”

Say it with me….”C’mon March 20th.  Bring on the Springtime!”

Growing up, I don’t think I ever realized just how beautiful it was until recently. 

Throughout my life, I have straightened my hair, colored it all shades, braided it, weaved it and even, most recently, wigged it. 

I’m sure that my future holds more hair changes, but I am not sure if I ever want to change its natural texture ever again, which is the hot style I rock right now. 

What looks like a coarse, kinky mess is really soft, tight, beautiful curls. I can look at it for hours, pulling each tendril then letting it go and watching it curl back. 

Shirley Temple curls ain’t got nothing on me! 

I can run my fingers over these curls endlessly, all the while just amazed by what it does and how long it actually is when I pull the curls (about shoulder-length, I kid you not). I love the hair of my friends and they are of all nationalities, but I mean it when I say that I LOVE my hair… 

…better than anyone else’s. 

The area I live in is quite small.  Sometimes I just don’t feel like vacuuming and lugging the base and the hose and the attachments.  You guessed it; the vacuum I normally use is an ol’ skool Electorlux. 

One day, in a jiffy to clean up,  I decided that I  needed to get all the lint and hair off the carpet and low and behold a lint roller was there.  So I used it.  It worked wonderfully.  Some might say that this is laziness, but really, using a lint roller to clean your carpet, instead of a vacuum, is a WORKOUT!

While shopping today I needed to get another lint roller; not just for the floor, but for my clothes also.  There shining down on me (imagine the sound of a choir in the background). was a lint roller attached to a stick, so that you could used it like a handy mop or broom!  I was truly like, this is the best thing ever.

Who needs a vacuum, when you have a lint roller broom! Try it!  You’ll like it! LOL!

The concept of waking up at 6:00am or earlier truly does hurt my feelings.  The last time I wanted to wake up at that hour was in elementary school when I was the first person in the school yard.  Why?  I have no idea, but that quickly changed in high school, perpetuated itself in college and continued on through grad school, my work years and presently.  The alarm actually has created the “snooze and go back to sleep” habit instead of one that makes me wake up to a fine fresh morning, no matter the season!

So, I am trying to convince myself into thinking that 6:00am or earlier is Jen O’clock.  A time when I can get up and chillax.  Do whatever the eff I want and enjoy some me time.  Not to answer emails and make more time for work.  This is the time high stimulating activities like exercise and sitting down with a cup of tea and for breakfast (not to mention make-up).  Maybe even a time for me to jot down some lines of poetry or poignant thoughts.  A time for me to enjoy my day as it should be before I let such depressing thoughts as work or relationships (or lack thereof) get me down and/or rile me up!

So I am declaring it.  6:00am is Jen o’clock.  I’ll give you an update on how this goes.  Wish me luck peeps!

This here is some funny s#!t!

I must say that with this new year’s resolution I have been exploring the “other side” when it comes to shoes.  I went to the Marshall’s Super Store today and tried on these Paris Hilton heels that were really gorgeous, but I couldn’t have made to  my car in them, much less wear them anywhere.  They were so pretty, but I had to pass :(

Disappointing, yes, but fear not!  I found these beauties (shown above).  I know they are black (which is my default color), but check them out.  Not bad, right?  So, here is where it get interesting.  About 20 minutes ago, I’m listening to a video music mix and a Lady Gaga comes on; you know the one, “Bad Romance” (Ra-ra-ro-ma-ma).” 

If you are thinking what happened next, you would be right. 

I put the heels on and I am dancing my ass of in these new black, somewhat S&M, booties to this song, in my room!  Oh, and it gets better!  The music mix continues with “Sexy Chick” by David Guerta featuring Akon.  I should have been in a club at that moment, cause I was seriously working up a sweat!  I strongly suggest you try this at home.

I was looking in the mirror with a big cheesy smile on and was like…you still still got it, baby.  It never left you.  Even without the new year’s resolution, you are still one sexy chick!  DAMN GURL!