My new shoes

This here is some funny s#!t!

I must say that with this new year’s resolution I have been exploring the “other side” when it comes to shoes.  I went to the Marshall’s Super Store today and tried on these Paris Hilton heels that were really gorgeous, but I couldn’t have made to  my car in them, much less wear them anywhere.  They were so pretty, but I had to pass 😦

Disappointing, yes, but fear not!  I found these beauties (shown above).  I know they are black (which is my default color), but check them out.  Not bad, right?  So, here is where it get interesting.  About 20 minutes ago, I’m listening to a video music mix and a Lady Gaga comes on; you know the one, “Bad Romance” (Ra-ra-ro-ma-ma).” 

If you are thinking what happened next, you would be right. 

I put the heels on and I am dancing my ass of in these new black, somewhat S&M, booties to this song, in my room!  Oh, and it gets better!  The music mix continues with “Sexy Chick” by David Guerta featuring Akon.  I should have been in a club at that moment, cause I was seriously working up a sweat!  I strongly suggest you try this at home.

I was looking in the mirror with a big cheesy smile on and was like…you still still got it, baby.  It never left you.  Even without the new year’s resolution, you are still one sexy chick!  DAMN GURL!

The Magic of Yarn

Lil C's Blankie

My sister taught me how to crochet when I was about 10 or 11 years old.  She showed me how to do a single crochet.  If you want to create something big… single crochet is not the right path, but it was a start. 

I always played with crochet and then years later, my sister picked it up again, this time showing me a double crochet.  That was ok, but still no big project really came out of it, just lots or practice. 

My Aunt Inez (God rest her soul) and I took a knitting class together when I visited her in England.  We knitted a scarf, and even though I finished a knitting project, I didn’t feel like a knitter.  I actually forgot how to do it completely until I recently re-taught myself some fundamentals.  The scarf reminds me of her and I have very special memories of knitting with her.

In grad school my friend Greta and her sister (my house mates) used to crochet all the time.  She showed me how to make hole-y squares.  It got the job done, but when we graduated and I had a bunch of squares that I had made with her, yet had no idea of how to put the damn things together. 

When I taught grade school in Hawaii, I lived in an apartment that was very cold.  I kid you not.  Yes, even Hawaii can get cold. So, I got a bunch of yarn and crocheted a blanket using the style Greta showed me, minus the squares.  In the end, I had a hole-y, beautiful blanket that kept me somewhat warm. People are still somewhat impressed when they see it, even today.  “You made this?!”  I get that often.  It is pretty.

So at my current job I met a phenomenal woman, “Cat,”who crochets blankets for every baby she hears is on the way (mostly anyway).  When I found this out I said to myself, “maybe she can finally help me figure out patterns.”   Yes, it’s true, I had crocheted mostly without a pattern because they seemed like the most complex things to figure out.

With “Cat’s” help, I did a baby blanket for my best friend’s daughter which took some time, but was gorgeous!  She loved it and so did her daughter. I see it in many pictures of her.  My other friend had a son (“Lil C”) and I made him a blanket.  That is the one you see above.  “Cat” helped me with a sample, but in the end I had to struggle through the pattern on my own. I continuously messaged my another very good knitter/crocheter, Miss Cleo for moral support.  It was that serious.

It was very liberating and empowering to finally work through a pattern.  It gave me the confidence to continue to make other items from patterns including the one I’m working on now for Greta’s daughter. 

I must say that though I love it creating these lovely blanket, it can get boring to crochet and it has put me to sleep many times. When I crochet  I take many breaks and leave it for few days sometimes, but when you see the finished product and you feel accomplished,you really realize the magic of yarn.

Wedding Bliss

I married myself today. 

The ring for the ceremony was originally sized for my left ring finger.  The ring has a long story attached to it.  As you can see I can write a lot so I’ll spare you the story.  I had it sized down to fit my pinky finger.  I smudged it with sage.  Smudging, is a process used to remove negative energy out of metals and/or gems.  Once smudging occurs the best thing to do is charge the metal/gem with positive energy. I have nothing but good energy and hopes for myself and those positive thoughts are what now charges the metal and gems on the ring.

How does one marry themselves?  I’ll tell you.

For each small diamon on the ring I wrote a vow to myself.  7 vows for 7 diamonds. No, I will not be sharing them.  I know, that sucks, but the truth is that most everything I do I associated with friends, boyfriends and/or family members.  I thought to have a small ceremony with my closest friends followed by a brunch or drinks, but I really just wanted this for myself, which is why I’m not sharing vows.  It is a pact…a bond with myself and only with myself. 

I drove to the river in Irvington.  I have fond memories of the area and looking across what seemed to be endless water, I said my vows out loud into the wind. The sun was bright, which I was grateful for.  New York has been so cold and I wanted to do my ceremony outside – in nature. Once I professed my vows, I placed the ring on my left pinky. I care not if I keep it on that pinky or move it to the right pinky.  It is simply a symbol to remind me of the commitments…the vows I have made to myself.

I wish I could say that I have always been good to myself, but that wouldn’t be the truth. Like most people my past experiences have left me maladjusted.  I continuously have to lift myself up and out of my despair and that never starts with me building myself up.  There is something fundamentally wrong with that.  Unfortunately, it always starts more with me trying to get over something or someone else.  I needed something like this wedding to adjust where I fall on my list of important people.  Like the “It’s all about me” daily calendar, the weeding ceremony and now the ring are to remind me that I am the most important person in my life.  I am the leading lady in the movie of my life and not the supporting actress (like Kate Winslet’s character came to find out in the movie The Holiday).  I am loveable and valuable and have many things to offer.

congratulations on my self-nuptuals.  I look forward to many years of wedding bliss with me, myself and I.

It’s all about me!

My friend gave me this calendar to use for the year entitled. “It’s all about me this year.”  This is todays entry.  I had to share because my level of hotness today on a scale of 1-5 was a 7…trust and believe.  I rocked a pair of knee-high boots that took sexy, for me, to another level.

This is very funny because I’m very humble and shy away from things like this but I am turning over a new leaf.  Want evidence.  Look above.  I would NEVER show that to anyone and I’m sharing!

Today, however was not all about me was it.  It was about a greater accomplishment by a man named Martin Luther King Jr..  So I wanted to say a few words about that.  My day seemed normal for the most part.  I didn’t attend church or a special event.  Though there were televised movies associated with the Civil Rights Movement, I did not watch them.

My focus, as it has been for many people, was Haiti.  It is hard for me, like others, to watch and feel helpless.  To know that even though I would get on a plane tomorrow, forsake my job and materials to go and help rebuild the country, that the most helpful thing I can do right now is donate money to the cause.  I have little, so I donate as much as I can without going into the red.  It offers me little comfort to know that all I can do is donate what I don’t have and still have access to food, water, medicine, a job and most importantly a roof over my head. 

So I pray that more people give and we raise enough money – together – to make a difference.  I watched CNN today and I hear the numbers of donations reach higher and higher and think, we are working together to make a difference.  Working together to make a difference. Wasn’t that all Martin Luther King Jr. ever really wanted?  I think he would be proud of how many of us have stepped up to the plate to do the right thing.  There will always be naysayers – “America should focus on America” – but I successfully tune them out and remember that we are human, we have hearts and our hearts lead us take care of each other, no matter what part of the world we live in.  So, I hope we continue

So, as we continue to work together to make a difference, we ARE keeping his dream alive.

New Year’s Resolution

Year after year I tied to stick to the resolutions I would make each December 31st. Without fail, they would start out with vigor and childish enthusiasm. They were the usual:quit smoking, lose weight, study a martial art, etc.. Naturally, once the novelty wore off, I would be back to square one.

Over the years I was able to quit smoking and lose some weight but it was always when I was relaxed and made the choice without pressure. So, I gave up the resolutions for a few years.

That was until December 31, 2009.

On the fly, I made two resolutions that I thought were for me. They were fun, they took discipline, yet they would make me feel good and look good. They would support health – emotional and physical and these two small resolutions would release feel good hormones and help me tune into primal behavior. What were the resolutions?

To wear make up and heels 5 times a week.

Sounds simple but for someone like me this poses challenges. Putting aside the fact that I am neither an early riser (to put my face on), nor do I have a superfabulous shoe collection, I am what my resolutions are; simple (and all natural by the way).

Since the year has begun, I have been sucessful. Many friends check in daily to make sure I’m keeping myself up. It makes me laugh and I love to laugh. So far it’s been a good thing, prompting girl talk with friends and monthly pedicures, but it also allows me to focus on myself, LOOK at myself and think about my appearence, which I rarely do. I have already improved for 2010!

I guess my feeling about resolutions now, unlike before is that they should feel good and improve you, not stress you out. No long-lasting progress comes from that at least not for me.

Hello world!

I think, therefore I am.  I think I am a writer, so I must be, right? 

Many people have suggested that I blog.  Perhaps they thought I had something poignant or humorous to say.  Perhaps being pensive and with so much in my head, a good idea  would be to blog some thoughts to allow other, new clearer ones to flow.

I look forward to seeing how this evolves – who gets me and who doesn’t, who cares and who doesn’t, and who enjoys me and who doesn’t.  I accept it all since I was ballsy enough to create this blog. 

Now that I have introduced myself I will leave you since naturally for my first blog, I have nothing to say and are more concerned with the look and feel of my blog.  Note: this look will probably change.